But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
