I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize