yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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