So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
worst night to have a conscience
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
They took my balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
