well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
