Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
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Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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