I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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