Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
