Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
