Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
