So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
