i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
