Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
