he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
