Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
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I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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