I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Semen is not good for contacts.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize