I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
