Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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