Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
