It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
