i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
