'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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