I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
