You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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