Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
