I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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