remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
