ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
