Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize