I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
