i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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