try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
