love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
