We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
