i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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