the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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