I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
