you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
