census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
