In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
