I got chris browned last night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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