He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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