I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize