In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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