You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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