listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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