were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
