a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
