Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Randomize
