The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
