we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
