do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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