Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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