wat bout pragnant strippers??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
