my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
