R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
