i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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