what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
