quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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