an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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