The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just google imaged poop.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
