Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
