Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
