Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
