when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've blown a few things in my day
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My liver just had a heart attack.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
