Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
