If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
