moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
